Everyone says how having a baby will change you. Yes it does change you physically and emotionally and sometimes not always for the better. Check out my top ten Postnatal 'Must Knows' for the first 4 weeks with your baby.
You will swell
Some women may get swelling in their ankles and legs after birth. This is due to your body releasing the increased fluid you gained in pregnancy and then gravity pulling it down to your feet. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.
You can help yourself to reduce the swelling by elevating your legs (with your feet above your heart) when you can, wear comfortable shoes and don't spend too long on your feet.
You will cry
Around day 3-7 (due to a surge in hormones) new Mums can experience feelings of sadness, tiredness, irritability, not being able to cope, anxiety and burst into tears for no apparent reason. All at a time when everyone expects you to be over the moon for having a new baby. All these feelings are normal and usually only last a few days.
If you find they get worse after a few days or last longer then a week then you may be developing postnatal depression so seek help from Midwife, Health Visitor or GP. Some areas also have wellbeing teams so check out your local area.
Everyone says how amazing having a baby is, how it will change you, how when you become a Mummy you will look at things differently - Yes I can say these things do happen but not always in a positive way so be mindful of how your feeling and never be ashamed to tell someone.
Your Hair will Fall out
It is quiet normal to notice when you brush or wash your hair that more than usual comes out in the brush or on your hands. All that thick hair you developed in pregnancy, due to the hormones 'freezing' you hair and therefore not allowing it to fall out, will now fall out over the next few months. This is a temporary phase and your hair should be back to normal by your baby's first birthday.
You will lose track of time
Days and nights will merge into one! Time becomes irrelevant when you have a little person to keep alive and well, but you must remember to look after yourself. A normal, healthy baby should not sleep more than 3 hours at a time. That is in the day and at night; so you will not either.
Many a time I go to visit mothers and its 11.30 and they haven't even had breakfast yet because they have been busy feeding, changing and cuddling. That is OK but you MUST remember to look after yourself too. Make sure you eat and drink frequently, rest when you can, day and night, and if you are lucky enough to have help around you then make sure their main goal is to keep you fed and hydrated so you can care for baby effectively.
Everyone will have advice
Everyone has an opinion about most things when it comes to childcare and the best way to raise a child. The polite thing to do is listen say 'thank you, I will consider it' and do what you feel is right for you anyway.
Parenting is a steep learning curve! However there are few right and wrongs when you raise a child, as long as there is love, respect and health you can't go far wrong.
You will feel guilty
If you breastfeed, if you bottle feed, if you express, if you have a nap in the day and ask someone else to watch the baby, if you take half an hour for yourself to have a bath you will feel guilty!
No matter what you do you will be your worst critic, because we always judge ourselves. TRY NOT TO! You will do what feels right, what works for you and your family and what you need to survive, and if that is taking 30 minutes to have a soak in the bath or a nail appointment then so be it.
You will love them
When I speak to mothers expecting their second or third child they always worry will they love them like the first? Everyone is different and you will never love two people in the same way but you WILL love them. It is something you cannot stop! If you do not feel it immediately don't panic.
The type of birth you have, how quickly you get to see your baby and how much time you get with them following the birth can all affect how quickly you get to know them, get to feed them and bond with them.
Dad's tend to get the immediate overwhelming sense of love, affection and protection, while for Mum's it can take a little longer, if this is the case don't beat yourself up about it. You are tired, sore and sometimes overwhelmed in the first 12-24 hours after having a baby. Cut yourself some slack you have just made and birthed another human being!
Remember if you find those feelings are lacking or you are not feeling yourself speak to someone, a problem shared is a problem halved.
Breastfeeding is hard
Everyone tells you that breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world (true it is). Everyone tells you the amazing benefits for baby and Mum when you breastfeed (true there are) but no one tells you how flipping hard it is!
As humans we over think things and this makes it even harder!
So remember breastfeeding needs to be learnt by you and baby. It takes time and practice to master. Take one day at a time and once you hit 6 weeks it will be a breeze.
Baby's live in sleep suits
All those wonderfully cute clothes you have been brought or brought yourself for baby will still be in the cupboard in 6 months time with the labels on them.
It is surprising how much mess and dirty washing a tiny person can make (but you will find out). It is much easier to keep them in the baby suits for the first few months. That does mean however that by the time you are ready to put them in something cute and frilly (for girls) or something cool and trendy (for the boys) they have grown out of everything you had brought them.
Save yourself time and money and just go for all-in-one seep suits - or vests if the weather is hot - until they are at least 3 -4 months old.
Baby's are nocturnal (awake at night)
Baby's know best! They know that your breast milk is best at night. They know that stimulating your hormones during the night by feeding is what is needed to ensure good milk supply for the next day. They know that predators hunt at night (obviously back in the man cave days). So they know that to make sure they are safe and have enough food and drink to survive they need to be with their parents most of the night.
This is really inconvenient and selfish of your child to do this however this is what they need to feel secure, and to grow and thrive. Get your head around the upside down day for your new baby and you will find it quickly turns back to the daytime waking and night time sleeping you are used to (when I say quickly I of course mean after about 4-6 months, if you're lucky).
Some women may get swelling in their ankles and legs after birth. This is due to your body releasing the increased fluid you gained in pregnancy and then gravity pulling it down to your feet. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.
You can help yourself to reduce the swelling by elevating your legs (with your feet above your heart) when you can, wear comfortable shoes and don't spend too long on your feet.
You will cry
Around day 3-7 (due to a surge in hormones) new Mums can experience feelings of sadness, tiredness, irritability, not being able to cope, anxiety and burst into tears for no apparent reason. All at a time when everyone expects you to be over the moon for having a new baby. All these feelings are normal and usually only last a few days.
If you find they get worse after a few days or last longer then a week then you may be developing postnatal depression so seek help from Midwife, Health Visitor or GP. Some areas also have wellbeing teams so check out your local area.
Everyone says how amazing having a baby is, how it will change you, how when you become a Mummy you will look at things differently - Yes I can say these things do happen but not always in a positive way so be mindful of how your feeling and never be ashamed to tell someone.
Your Hair will Fall out
It is quiet normal to notice when you brush or wash your hair that more than usual comes out in the brush or on your hands. All that thick hair you developed in pregnancy, due to the hormones 'freezing' you hair and therefore not allowing it to fall out, will now fall out over the next few months. This is a temporary phase and your hair should be back to normal by your baby's first birthday.
You will lose track of time
Days and nights will merge into one! Time becomes irrelevant when you have a little person to keep alive and well, but you must remember to look after yourself. A normal, healthy baby should not sleep more than 3 hours at a time. That is in the day and at night; so you will not either.
Many a time I go to visit mothers and its 11.30 and they haven't even had breakfast yet because they have been busy feeding, changing and cuddling. That is OK but you MUST remember to look after yourself too. Make sure you eat and drink frequently, rest when you can, day and night, and if you are lucky enough to have help around you then make sure their main goal is to keep you fed and hydrated so you can care for baby effectively.
Everyone will have advice
Everyone has an opinion about most things when it comes to childcare and the best way to raise a child. The polite thing to do is listen say 'thank you, I will consider it' and do what you feel is right for you anyway.
Parenting is a steep learning curve! However there are few right and wrongs when you raise a child, as long as there is love, respect and health you can't go far wrong.
You will feel guilty
If you breastfeed, if you bottle feed, if you express, if you have a nap in the day and ask someone else to watch the baby, if you take half an hour for yourself to have a bath you will feel guilty!
No matter what you do you will be your worst critic, because we always judge ourselves. TRY NOT TO! You will do what feels right, what works for you and your family and what you need to survive, and if that is taking 30 minutes to have a soak in the bath or a nail appointment then so be it.
You will love them
When I speak to mothers expecting their second or third child they always worry will they love them like the first? Everyone is different and you will never love two people in the same way but you WILL love them. It is something you cannot stop! If you do not feel it immediately don't panic.
The type of birth you have, how quickly you get to see your baby and how much time you get with them following the birth can all affect how quickly you get to know them, get to feed them and bond with them.
Dad's tend to get the immediate overwhelming sense of love, affection and protection, while for Mum's it can take a little longer, if this is the case don't beat yourself up about it. You are tired, sore and sometimes overwhelmed in the first 12-24 hours after having a baby. Cut yourself some slack you have just made and birthed another human being!
Remember if you find those feelings are lacking or you are not feeling yourself speak to someone, a problem shared is a problem halved.
Breastfeeding is hard
Everyone tells you that breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world (true it is). Everyone tells you the amazing benefits for baby and Mum when you breastfeed (true there are) but no one tells you how flipping hard it is!
As humans we over think things and this makes it even harder!
So remember breastfeeding needs to be learnt by you and baby. It takes time and practice to master. Take one day at a time and once you hit 6 weeks it will be a breeze.
Baby's live in sleep suits
All those wonderfully cute clothes you have been brought or brought yourself for baby will still be in the cupboard in 6 months time with the labels on them.
It is surprising how much mess and dirty washing a tiny person can make (but you will find out). It is much easier to keep them in the baby suits for the first few months. That does mean however that by the time you are ready to put them in something cute and frilly (for girls) or something cool and trendy (for the boys) they have grown out of everything you had brought them.
Save yourself time and money and just go for all-in-one seep suits - or vests if the weather is hot - until they are at least 3 -4 months old.
Baby's are nocturnal (awake at night)
Baby's know best! They know that your breast milk is best at night. They know that stimulating your hormones during the night by feeding is what is needed to ensure good milk supply for the next day. They know that predators hunt at night (obviously back in the man cave days). So they know that to make sure they are safe and have enough food and drink to survive they need to be with their parents most of the night.
This is really inconvenient and selfish of your child to do this however this is what they need to feel secure, and to grow and thrive. Get your head around the upside down day for your new baby and you will find it quickly turns back to the daytime waking and night time sleeping you are used to (when I say quickly I of course mean after about 4-6 months, if you're lucky).